I've torn myself away from Vancouver and met up with the folks for a drive around the Rockies. Highlights include a raft tour down a river (approximately Grade 1 compared to my near-death style experience at Queenstown) and my discovery of the wonderfully named Lake Minnewanka which has led to me saying the name at every opportunity and trying to pass it off for Tourettes. I survived clam chowder at a scarily named Ecoli Fisheries Restaurant in Oregon, but am now being eaten alive by Canadian mosquitos - considerably more evil than their Fijian counterparts who perhaps have a more laid-back approach to life. My leg has become a snack bar and i suspect i have a few locals frequenting the place, despite my efforts to evict them with bug spray. By the time i arrive back in Vancouver i may well be resembling a swollen human Twiglet. That added with the patches of sunburn is making me look absolutely gorgeous. Unfortunately the only things that seem attracted to me are the aforementioned bugs. One can't be too picky I suppose.

Santa Monica again, and trying to look gorgeous in Disney - note the sleep deprived eyes and Orion forming on my forhead courtesy of junk food!

OK, it was a night out in Hollywood. Sufficient explanation methinks

Santa Monica, California: weird and wonderful

my custom made flight!

sailing in Fiji

I am emotionally overwhelmed.

A 10 hour bus journey from Portland (on an unventilated bus full of people who haven't showered yet this year) i have arrived in Vancouver. I was like a kid at Christmas grinning with excitement as i recognised landmarks and old haunts on my way into the city. I made it to my hostel on Jericho Beach in time to watch the sun linger on the horizon before i made my pilgrimage to campus and my favourite restaurant, One More Sushi. It was so strange to be there without my friends, so i rushed through my food to get to the Beanery Coffee Shop before it closed and check out our regular haunt. I was pretty distracted when ordering my coffee coz i was scanning the polaroid photos pinned about the counter to see if i could find the one of us taken on the day we waved goodbye to our friends who were leaving after the firast semester. After much feverish searching I spotted a faded image of my UBC sweater and sure enough our faces emerged from the blur. I nearly wept, it was pathetic of me. Our faces were beaming, and i was amused to see that despite years of numerous changes my hair had returned to the same style i had in the photo. Our penned message at the bottom of the photo has faded away, but i remember our message of the "Good Times."

I then strolled around Fairview (where we lived, for those not in the know) and smiled as i remembered the Fairview Curse that saw us all being single for the duration of our time there, and remembered the numerous parties we had, the run-ins with the dictatorship of the Fairview police and our resistance to their tight alcohol laws, the tearful goodbyes and broken hearts, and the street parties at New Years and Christmas, oh, and of course that phenomenal night when England WON THE RUGBY WORLD CUP (beating Australia, of course!)

I'm so glad to be here and amazed at how much has changed already. The frat houses are gone, the city looks bigger (and even more beautiful) than i remember and the bus prices have gone up, gosh darnit! But the Beanery remains exactly the same - yay! I hope to come back later and see if Sonny and Sonia are still running it.

The city really is gearing up for the 2010 Olympics. There are signs of construction everywhere. I am itching to get up to Cypress Mountain and check out the new ski trails they are making. I wish it were winter so that i could clip some skis on and feel the cool air rush against my cheeks and my feet glide over snow again. But, i have arrived in my favourite city on the first day of summer, and it is looking gorgeous.

I feel like I have arrived home.

Believe it or not, I extended my stay in LA. I'm still not in love with it, but i did meet some great people who made my stay here very worthwhile. We had many laughs taking the mick out of all things Californian. It seems that the answer to everything here is "you're in LA" to which we respond with a look of despair. I've had great fun hanging out with these girls from London, particularly days spent in Santa Monica and Beverly Hills, and was absolutely honoured to spend the day with Countess Bromley (one of the girls had been followed by tourists on Rodeo Drive who been led to believe her to be English royalty and enthusiastically snapped photos of her.) We had a night out at the Comedy Store in Hollywood which started out well with one mate nearly curled up on the floor laughing but gradually the comics got more and more drunk and more and more rubbish until we pretty much took over the show by taking the pee out of them and killing the acts - we enjoyed ourselves anyway. We had intended to see Roseanne at the Comedy Store but our cabbie got us there late courtesy of being clueless about what and where the Comedy Store (and probably Hollywood generally) is. The explanation is simple: you're in LA. So, it was with sadness that we missed laughing at Roseanne and her plastic surgery.
One highlight was a day spent at Disney with Countess Bromley where i think the most extreme attractions were the salt and sugar assaults on our bodies courtesy of Disney catering. We did get a little paranoid that her celebrity status may have spread already as we were conscious of people snapping photos of us until we remembered that we wore sparkly mouse ears on our heads and were generally looking gorgeous. Unfortunately we only remembered to take photos of ourselves at the end of the day when we were knackered and were horrified to realise that we looked about 40, yet still got ID'd (which we had forgotten to carry, being english n'all) and thus missed out on our much-desired evening pints. I had never craved a freezing cold beer more than i had that day. At times we thought we were in the Sahara desert and were shocked when we met someone from Brisbane who was delighted at what a pleasant and comfortable day it was. We were dehydrated shrivelled wrecks.
Today I am Portland and enduring arctic conditions in comparison. I am noticing that i generally leave a path of destruction behind me whereever i go: an earthquake in Japan, blizzards in New Zealand, every Disney ride shutting down for maintenance after we departed. If there is an earthquake in LA next week then i apologise. I only hope i get out of Portland in time before a volcano erupts.

Vancouver is days away and i can almost taste it. Tres exciting.

I think I hate LA. I've been trying so hard to like it that i now feel kind of resentful for the effort. Santa Monica and Pasadena are divine, but otherwise LA is horrendous. Downtown is a dive, Hollywood is a dump and Universal Studios is lame - even Chessington has better rides. I am massively craving London or New York right now, or just anywhere that has decent transport and people who actually have local knowledge. Even people who work in travel centres are clueless. I have no idea how the population here has managed to build a city, they just seem to be a mass of cluelessness and disorganisation. I swear, i will never complain about public transport in England again. My first thought on exiting the airport was disgust at just how many cars are on the road and an absolute lack of people walking the streets. The only area where i saw people exercising their ability and right to use their legs was at a Pride parade through West Hollywood, and they were practically skipping!

Despite many moments of disgust (including witnessing a guy pull out a knife at someone on the bus just because they had tapped his shoulder instead of saying excuse me - the irony is delicious, i know) I have found plenty of incidents to laugh at and i guess the whole Californians-are-freaks scenario is rather entertaining. There have been highlights, including experiencing about 2 minutes of excitement viewing the Desperate Housewives set at Universal before resuming a bored expression and clockwatching. I enjoyed people watching in Venice Beach which is full of weirdos and manicured dogs that resemble topiary trees. A bus tour of movie stars' homes was way better than i ever anticipated, and 3 hours spent lost on a random bus route showed me plenty of surprise sights that i hadn't expected, including my first glimpse of the Hollywood sign and the realisation that i was 4 counties away from where i wanted to be.

Tomorrow i go to Santa Barbara overnight to try to escape the madness briefly before escaping permanently on a plane to Portland. I will be sad to leave Santa Monica though, because it totally fulfills the dream image you have of California and LA, and people are ridiculously friendly here. The sun always shines and the people always ask how you are. It is a bubble of fresh air in what might otherwise might be described as a stagnant pool. I'm being harsh, i know, but LA really does suck. End of.

View over Arrowtown from the Remarkables and the ridiculously steep hill i had to run down before catching the wind in the hanglider. Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous

Milford Sound, NZ

Sabeto, Fiji. I spent my first few nights in the mountains surrounded by sugar cane fields, stray dogs and cockerals crowing through the night

View of Queenstown and the Remarkables where i went hangliding. It's a stunning town with a ridiculous number of film locations nearby.

It is my last day in Fiji, and in my week here i have experienced numerous random act of kindness, acute frustration at the inability to get anything organised, cravings for English cab drivers who actually know their own towns, and a strong desire for a decent bathroom. Oh, and let's not forget my acquisition of both a husband and a wife.

Well. I set off for my 3 day sailing safari around the Yasawas a few days ago. I boarded with this Kiwi guy wwho was staying at the same hotel as me, and we basically chatted and bought rinks for each other for the first few hours. It was only once we were assigned our sleeping accomodation at the end of the first day that people started asking what was up. It seems that haalf the ship had assumed we were married, dspite him being old enough to be my dad. Still, it makes a nice change from the usual stuation in Fiji whereby you can't walk past a man without him asking where your husband is. Anywaays, on being assiigned our bure doubles i was sharing with a hilarious girl who had the most cutting humour. We wound eacch other up constantly and had a good laugh bickering on a familiar level. We were soon dubbed the 'other married couple', although why i was appointed the husband i have no idea.

Anyways, the sailing safari was fun and our island was gorgeous. I had a great time despite the craziness of being woken at 6.30 every morning to do a day packed with activities. I pulled out of the 2nd days excursion to a Fiji village coz i just didn't care to have a fake experience when i could have the resort to myself and lay in hammocks the whole day. It was bliss, although the water was ridiculously shallow and i managed to slash my feet up on the coral. End result was that i spent the rest of the time missing out on snorkelling and swimming because eveerytime i steeped into sea water i was literally rubbinng salt in the wound. Bummer. However, on ourr last daay eeveryone went snorkelling at the best location and one of the crew was lovely enough to bring me back a bright blue starfish. I was really touched, but someone went off with it later that day. I will blame my wife, just for the fun of it.

Today i have been pottering around Nadi in the intense discomfort off wearing jeans and hkinng boots coz i ave to fly tonight. Opinions on Nadi are quite amusing. I have decided that those who think Nadi is a dump have usually not been to Suva. Thosewho have been to Suva tend to like Nadi. It's all relative. Nad is actually clean - there is no rubbiish, sewage or other random liquids oozing out on the streets. The shops are attractive and there are is mmuch less sign of shanty villaages. However, i hate thhe fact that i can't walk down the street wthout peeople tying tto pull me intoo their shos and hassle me aalong with all the other tourists.. This didn''t happen to me in Suva, perhaps because there just seemed to be no other tourists there and perhaps because i was with Michelle. Righht noow i wis my skin were darker just so i ould walk down thee street inconsiicuously. Aside from that, Nadi really is ok. I challenge anyone who hates Nadi to go and check Suva out and then reconsider.

Whilst in Nadi i strove aand strove and strove to gett onto a scenic flight so i could views the islands and coral reefs fromm the air. After a hour 0f frustrattingly trying to get numerous airlines to understand that their business is to fly planes and generally to get paying passengers to go on those planes, i gave up nd headed to the touriist info place, despitte being warned that they rip you off. I tthen spent ages trying to explain whatt a scenic flight is before eventually being told that ii had to pay for the equivaleent of 4 passengers in order too get a ccompany to take me. In my despair i simply booked a commercial flight to the next island where i would land, stand around for 5 minutes and fly back again. It would do. I boarded a tiny 6 seater plane aat 12:10 after being told off for making this 12:30 departure late. Heck, we landed at our destination 2 minutes before what should have been our departure time! Fiji time perplexes me. Anyways, the pilot was very bemused to find me boarding again sttraight affter arrival soo i gave my sad story of traveeling alone and no being able to geet a scenic flight as a singlee passenger. Next thing i know, she invites me to sit with her in the front (with the controls!) and departs early so she can fly me round the whole island annd along reefs before rsuming te regular flight plan. I was snapping away my camera wiith pleasure. Everyone on the flight was grateful for th ride - i couldn't believe the kindness.

And so, i am poised o leave a set of islands that haave blown my mind in various ways. I remain confused y a culture of random acts of kindness and of illogic andperplexing organisation. I have enjoyed towns, sea and mountains; reesorts, burees and ships (wwith a nasty bout of sea sickness). All in all, Fiji was cool, but i want my bathroom now!

Bula Bula!!! Day 3 in Fiji, and my goodness, what a time i am having. I spent my first day as the only guest at a gorgeous resort in the mountains - 1 guest and 8 members of staff and a manager who seems to have adopted me. I can't believe how spoiled i have been! There are millions of gorgeous dogs and cats to keep you company, a lovely pool (with frogs - ugh) and a myriad of cocktails. The manager spends her evenings buying me wine and chatting until we are under moonlight. I've actually just spent the weekend with her in Suva, as she invited me to attend a big family feast at her childhood home. It was only when we got there that i learned that i'd been invited to a memorial! It was cool though (aside from one instance of an elderly relative doing some full on wailing - cringier than David Brent). Michelle warned me her family would drive me insane but not to worry, there will only be 8 of us there. There were at least 30. And yes, it was insane.

We arrived in the afternoon to join in the preparations for a lovo feast where chicken is wrapped in coconut leaves and cooked in the ground, and to sample the grog (i have no idea what was in it, but it was foul). We then escaped to head into Suva town, the capital of Fiji. It is a mess. Litter and rotting crap everywhere. Not my cup of tea. But it was interesting to get shown around all the various coup sites! Michelle suggested we hit a bar in the early afternoon to cool down with some icy chardonays and get in the right mind space for the madness of the pending evening. We started drinking at 3 and turned up to dinner at 7 clutching several bottles of wine and glossing over our negligence in forgetting to buy and prepare the fruit salad that the relatives had been reminding us to get over the phone all day. I had such a good laugh with Michelle. As we went from bar to bar she got increasingly friendly and before i knew it she was booking me in to have their honey moon suite at the dorm rate (nearly 10 times cheaper!) and telling me all the gossip of secret celebrity stays at her hotel. Also, New Zealand had slaughtered Fiji in the rugby that afternoon and the All Blacks entered as we were exiting one hotel bar. By then we had had a few and Michelle was in full flirt mode with them. It was hilarious.

Anyways, the lovo feast. Imagine a 30 piece orchestra at full volume, all out of tune, running around a small stage with me standing in the middle looking perplexed. That would be a pretty accurate image. I dutifully downed the grog and sampled every morsel of food and joined in some pretty hilarious conversations before passing out early in the morning (after several "let me tell you about my most recent illness" stories, and the most disturbing "hello caroline, you know i still breastfeed my daughter " story - how do you respond to that?!!) Well, i can only say that i had a great great time and have certainly experienced the real Fiji. Michelle's family covers every demographic of Fijian, Indian and Chinese cultures. Michelle insists that i tell you all that i have had Taliban dessert. It was delicious.

Right now, i sit at an internet bar in Nadi and am looking forward to boarding a sailing ship and learning the ropes (bad one, i know) over the next few days before heading back to the honeymoon suite and a bed full of dogs again. Yay

I have left my heart behind in Nelson. I was so glad to go back, even if it was for a few days. I can't believe an expensive plane ticket counts as my best impulse buy! I spent an afternoon on a long horse trek (but i may have mentioned this already in another post, i forget) and the other 2 days I just went on an adrenaline detox and basically did nothing. Those were 2 days very well spent in good company crawling between coffee shops and soaking up the Nelson sunshine. It was a great time to be back at the hostel as there were loads of returnees so there was a really gorgeous reunion atmosphere to the place. Not your average hostel for sure.

I tore myself away from Nelson to spend less than a day in Auckland before leaving New Zealand. Everyone was right. Auckland is a dump. It is big, ugly, dirty and smelly. It is full of the most arrogant youth and has a haze of pollution hanging over it. I spent just a few hours downtown before deciding i had to get out of there, so i jumped on a ferry and headed out to Waiheke Island. It's beautiful - typical postcard scenery with nice beaches and ridiculously huge rich houses. The sand and palms definitely got me in the mood for Fiji. Which is where i am now.......